1. It's like when you're in a discussion class, like something in political science or literature, and somebody starts a really awesome tangent. You know, when somebody says, "Women shouldn't be allowed to vote," and you cannot wait to just sit back, drink your ice cold Mountain Dew (or whatever expired soda you grabbed from the vending machine before class) and watch the show when people start frothing at the mouth and screaming at one another. I'm the guy who says, "Let's bring this back to the reading for today." Lame!
2. Here's one for the musicians. It's like when you're in a sectional or small rehearsal, and you decide to start playing old pep band tunes and dancing around, or you just realized it's really funny to play "Hava Nagila" on tuba. I'm the guy who says, "Come on guys, we really need to work on tuning." Double buzzkill!
3. It's like if you're really enjoying the current season of Entourage (Sunday nights on HBO!), hanging on every twist in the plot, pulling for Ari and DANA GORDON, pulling for Johnny Drama's success on his new show, and just generally excited for each new episode. Then somebody like Ryan Douglas Presley (eat your heart out) reminds you: "Hey, this season stinks. Entourage peaked after season 3, and it's been a steady and depressing decline ever since. The drug addiction storyline will be remembered as the show's fatal flaw. Seriously, how can you tell me you're enjoying this dogshit season?" Wet blanket!
So why would I be that guy, especially when it comes to the team that I love? Everybody else started gearing up for this year's version of Rocktober this week, so why didn't I? Maybe I don't want to get my own hopes up...maybe I'm preparing myself so I won't be so bummed out later on. Either way, I'm hashing out why it won't happen. But let me be clear - I hope that I am totally and unequivocally wrong. I hope the Rockies rip off 15 straight and steal headlines. I just don't think this team is built for it, and here's why:
It was the Astros
Three games of the five in the current "red hot" streak were against the Houston Astros (record: 43-88). At home. And they gave up 5, 5, and 6 runs to that team. They needed extra innings and a wild pitch with a runner on third to complete the sweep. In games 2 and 3 of the series they were 3-16 and 2-15 with RISP, respectively. Do we really believe that performance reflects a team poised to make a run? Which brings me to this...
The hitters are not clutch
There's a difference between hot and clutch. There's a difference between piling on and coming up with timely hits in close games. And doing anything against the Astros doesn't count.
Troy Tulowitzki is batting .305, 26 HR, 89 RBI. That might get him in the top 10 of the MVP vote, and he will probably win another silver slugger award (and a second gold glove, to boot). And yet, how many times has he been the last out of a close game, especially at Coors Field? How many times has he either been the tying run or had the tying run on and not come through? Todd Helton and Carlos Gonzalez are the only two hitters consistently taking good at bats in big, tense moments. It has to be everybody for the kind of winning streak the Rockies need.
Tulo's my boy, but he has not been clutch for a long time. If somebody has a clutch Tulo moment since the team's last playoff run in 2009, I would love to hear it. Anybody?
The rotation stinks
It's Jhoulys Chacin, who seems to be running out of gas, and four pitchers who are #4 guys at best. Two of them are over the hill (Kevin Millwood, Aaron Cook). Two of them are underdeveloped (Esmil Rogers, Alex White). I'm not ready to bet on any of those guys driving a run to the playoffs, especially when you put them up next to the rotations of teams that will make it (see Braves, Atlanta and Phillies, Philadelphia).
To conclude, this is not some feeble attempt at a "reverse curse." You know, like now that I said it won't happen it will. Nope, not that.
The point is what happened in Rocktober 2007 was a team that actually was good and had some really nice pieces figured it out really late in the season - so late that it should have been too late. But what surfaced was that they really were a good club that had underachieved up until late August, at which point they emphatically made up for their previous mediocrity.
The evidence this year shows that the 2011 Colorado Rockies never had the pieces, never truly had the talent to contend. They are not underachieving because the bar should never have been that high in the first place. Even if the teams in front of them continue to falter, the Rockies don't have it.
Not this year.
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